How should a Christian relate to those who practice homosexuality?

Welcome to our Wednesday “Ask Beau” post. The purpose of this weekly feature is to provide you, our readers, with biblical responses to questions you have about practical issues that you face.

As always, you may submit questions for future “Ask Beau” posts by contacting us at beau.stanley@gracebrethren.org or viewfromthepugh@yahoo.com, or by leaving a comment on this post.

Last week I received a question via email regarding how Christians should respond to fellow believers who choose to live a homosexual lifestyle. This is a great question, one that is extremely relevant in our current cultural situation. Permit me in this post to broaden the question a bit to this: How should a Christian relate to those who practice homosexuality?

It is important to establish first what the Bible says about homosexual behavior. In one of the least politically correct passages in the Scripture, Paul speaks of lesbianism (Romans 1:26) and male homosexuality (1:27) as “dishonorable,” “unnatural,” and “shameful” (ESV). The vice list in 1 Corinthians 6:9–10 contains two Greek words that denote the passive (malakoi) and active (arsenokoitai) participants in male homosexual acts. A form of arsenokoitai appears in the vice list in 1 Timothy 1:8–10 as well. Leviticus 18:22 presents male homosexuality as one of several prohibited sexual practices. The narrative of Sodom and Gomorrah (Genesis 18:20–19:29, especially 19:4–13) indicates that the destruction of these cities came about at least in part because of the homosexual practices of the inhabitants. When one looks at the biblical text, it is clear that God considers homosexual behavior to be a serious sin. 

Christians should speak this truth to homosexuals in love (Ephesians 4:15), but it is important to consider what that really means. Those who speak the truth in love are humble and cognizant of their own faults (see our prior post on judging). They genuinely look out for the best interests of the other person. They realize that transformation takes time and that homosexuality is usually tied deeply to perceptions of identity and worth. They aren’t unnecessarily offensive and they don’t call names. 

In fact, I am concerned that when relating to those who practice homosexuality, Christians are sometimes so focused on the “truth” part of speaking the truth in love that we forget the “love” part. I wonder if we would be so shortsighted when dealing with people who are engaged in other sins—some of which are prohibited in the same vice lists mentioned above—such as disobedience, lying, and extramarital heterosexual contact! When we view our relationships with homosexuals solely through the lens of challenging their behavior, we miss the charge to pray for them faithfully and to build bridges with them, bridges of acquaintance, friendship, and genuine, tangible care. Honestly, would we feel loved by “friends” whose only mission in the friendship is to confront us? Instead, let’s follow Jesus’ model of loving engagement—which caused Him to be criticized for being “a friend of tax collectors and sinners” (Matthew 11:19; Luke 7:34).

There is also a biblical distinction that I should mention here, in light of the form in which this question was posed to me. The Bible directs Christians to be more relationally “open” to non-Christians who practice sin than to those who claim to be Christians and practice sin (1 Corinthians 5:9–11). Thus, regarding the unrepentant believer or professing believer who continues in homosexual behavior, eventually (not immediately—see the general pattern laid out in Matthew 18:15–17) the best course of action for a Christian may be to dissociate himself from that person, making sure he leaves the door open for future restoration and reconciliation (Galatians 6:1). 

Now it’s your turn. What are your thoughts on this important and sensitive question?

—Beau Stanley

Follow @beaustanley

Complimentarity and the masculine soul

I think it’s interesting to consider how public opinion on the topic of gender differences has shifted over the years. People have always recognized the physical differences between men and women, of course, but since the 1960s it has been somewhat controversial to speak of non-physical differences between the genders. The reason for this is clear enough: some people feel that non-physical gender differences would imply inequality between men and women at some level.

The Bible is bold enough to present what has been called a “complimentarian” view of gender differences, though. Men and women, according to God’s Word, have distinct and complimentary characteristics on the non-physical as well as the physical levels. When the Scripture says that God created people as male and female (Genesis 1:27), it means just that: He created male and female people, not just male and female bodies. Besides this, men and women have distinct roles in relationship with one another. When instructions to husbands and wives appear in Scripture (see, for example, Ephesians 5:22–33; Colossians 3:18–19; 1 Peter 3:1–7), husbands never receive the same instructions as wives.

As Wayne Grudem and others have eloquently argued, the reason the complimentarian view of gender differences is not demeaning to either gender is that differences in characteristics and roles do not mean inequality of essence. We see an analogy in the nature of God Himself, who exists as a Triune being, three co-equal persons who have distinct roles. The Son submits to the Father (John 5:17–47; 1 Corinthians 15:27–28), not the other way around, but the Son Himself is of equal value, dignity, and majesty as the Father (John 1:1; John 20:26–29).

The bottom line for us, men, is that it is legitimate and holy for us to act like men, just as it is legitimate and holy for women to act like women. God has given us masculine souls, not just masculine bodies. To be manly in God’s eyes has nothing to do with the amount of sporting events one watches. It is to be a servant-leader who rejects passivity (see Robert Lewis’s Raising a Modern-Day Knight) and takes seriously what Richard D. Phillips calls The Masculine Mandate, namely, the mandate to work and keep (Genesis 2:15). It is also to value the complementary differences in women that men so often cut on.

What are your thoughts on gender differences? Have you been fortunate enough to meet people who are/were examples of biblical manhood or womanhood?

—Beau Stanley

Follow @beaustanley

Can Big Ben find grace and redemption?

On the field, Pittsburgh Steelers quarterback Ben Roethlisberger has been very successful, with two Super Bowl rings to show for it.

But off the field, he has often been embroiled in controversy, from nearly dying from a motorcycle accident to sexual assault allegations.

The Pittsburgh Tribune-Review had an interesting story this week talking about Roethlisberger’s upcoming wedding.

In the story, a pastor of the church where the wedding is scheduled, and which Roethlisberger and his fiancee attend, told a reporter that the couple are “consistent and genuine in their worship.”

Only God knows the condition of Roethlisberger’s heart, but I’m encouraged to hear he has taken steps to connect with a local church.

No matter what your past has been like, Jesus offers grace through those who trust in Him.

Romans 3:22-24 states “We are made right with God by placing our faith in Jesus Christ. And this is true for everyone who believes, no matter who we are. For everyone has sinned; we all fall short of God’s glorious standard. Yet God, with undeserved kindness, declares that we are righteous. He did this through Christ Jesus when he freed us from the penalty for our sins” (NLT).

Although time will tell if Roethlisberger will redeem his career by winning additional Super Bowls, he can be assured of finding personal redemption through faith in Jesus Christ.

And that’s the redemption that really matters.

— Chris Pugh

Follow @chrispugh3

Of good times and bad times

Sunday morning I had what you might call an “Ugh run.”

For those of you unfamiliar with what I’m referring to, an “Ugh run” (I think I created this term) is a run in which you are going so much slower than you’d like that you look down at your watch and say, “Ugh.” Sunday’s run came in 35 seconds per mile slower than a time I ran about a month and a half ago on the same 3.3-mile route. I know this because I find a strange joy in tracking my workout regimen with nerdish precision.

Now, I was tempted to be a little depressed about the slow time, but I consoled myself with this thought: A few years ago, when my wattage output was somewhere between that of a two-toed sloth and that of an amoeba, I would have been really stoked with the time I ran on Sunday. It was slow relative to the times I have been running recently, but it was very fast relative to the times of years gone by.

Here’s a bit of Monday encouragement. You may look at your spiritual life and not be all that pleased with where you are right now, but I’ll bet that if you have been seeking to follow Jesus for a while, you’ve made a lot of progress over the long run. Consider the faithfulness of God in your life just as Psalm 136 calls attention to the faithfulness of God toward the people of Israel. Consider not only the sins you committed yesterday, but the maturity God has worked in you over the years.

And above all, keep running.

—Beau Stanley

(AUTHOR’S NOTE: Thanks to Dr. Glenn McElhinney for insights that led to this post.)

Change in the NBA and beyond

I always love the off-season in professional sports.

From the draft to free agency, it’s interesting to see how teams address their needs and to see players switch teams.

Teams can get much better or much worse in a hurry depending how they handle this crucial time. That’s why I’m looking forward to tonight’s NBA draft (7:30 p.m., ESPN).

The Cleveland Cavaliers have two of the first four picks and are actively involved in trade talks for other players. Chances are good they will have a dramatically different team after tonight. The hope is they will be able to add talent to do better than they did last year.

Personally, I would love for them to get Derrick Williams of Arizona and Brandon Knight of Kentucky. What do you think?

I love seeing change with my favorite basketball team, and it’s easier to see change when it doesn’t have a direct impact on my personal life (and when my team needs a lot of improvement).

But change can be really scary when it touches me personally.

When the unexpected happens, I turn to the unchanging God, whose love for me is steady and constant. I and other Christians have the privilege of enjoying a wonderful relationship with Him through Jesus. Paul wrote these words to the Roman Christians of his day:

“And I am convinced that nothing can ever separate us from God’s love. Neither death or life, neither angels nor demons, neither our fears for today nor or worries about tomorrow—not even the powers of Hell can separate us from God’s love” (Romans 8:38 NLT).

Do you know His love? If you don’t, shoot me an e-mail at viewfromthepugh@yahoo.com.

I’d love to talk to you about it.

—Chris Pugh

(EDITOR’S NOTE—Photo: Thomas Northcut/Digital Vision/Thinkstock)

What is the right way to apply Jesus’ statement, “Judge not, that ye be not judged?”

Welcome to our Wednesday “Ask Beau” post. The purpose of this weekly feature is to provide you, our readers, with biblical responses to questions you have about practical issues that you face. 

As always, you may submit questions for future “Ask Beau” posts by contacting us at beau.stanley@gracebrethren.org or viewfromthepugh@yahoo.comor by leaving a comment on this post.

It’s pretty common to hear someone quote or paraphrase Matthew 7:1, in which Jesus says, “Judge not, that ye be not judged” (KJV). Often the person quoting the passage is objecting to being criticized for his behavior. His implication is that Jesus’ statement forbids anyone from labeling anyone else’s behavior sinful. Is that really how Jesus would have us apply this passage, though?

The answer to this question is a very loud “No.” Keep in mind, the Bible elsewhere tells people to rebuke others (Luke 17:3; 2 Timothy 4:2). In some cases, churches are to discipline, or to “judge” members (1 Corinthians 5:11–13). Jesus even lays out a restoration/discipline process in Matthew 18:15–17 that requires an offended party to go to his offender privately and “tell him his fault” (KJV).

Matthew 7:1 has a context, of course—a context that people usually leave out of their quote. The verses following Matthew 7:1 show that Jesus did not mean to prohibit us from calling a spade a spade, but from doing so aggressively and without proper humility. It is out of line to criticize others without seeing one’s own faults.

God is the true Judge (James 4:12), so any person who judges must do so only according to the standards God has set. In practices where God has allowed for individual liberty, people should avoid passing judgment (Romans 14:1–13).

To sum up: it is proper and necessary for us to judge others at times, but we must do so humbly, judging according to God’s standards and not our own preferences.

How have you seen this passage applied or misapplied?

—Beau Stanley

T.P. phone home?

The top article in today’s Columbus Dispatch reports that Terrelle Pryor, star quarterback for the Ohio State Buckeyes, is done with college football. Pryor released this information yesterday in a statement via his attorney. Tim May, the author of the Dispatch article, notes that it is “unclear” whether or not Pryor will be eligible for the upcoming NFL supplemental draft. Pryor’s once-promising future now has a gigantic question mark superimposed on it.

Call me a sentimentalist or a bleeding heart, but when I saw Fred Squillante’s picture of Pryor on the story’s Web page, I felt sad for T.P. This young man has made mistakes that have cost him dearly. One can only hope that he does not follow in Maurice Clarett’s footsteps.

Has Pryor brought this trouble on himself? Sure. But one thing the pastoral ministry has taught me is that if we never loved people who didn’t play at least a part in their own suffering, not many people would “qualify” for our love.

Some have rightly criticized Rob Bell for extolling God’s mercy at the expense of His justice, but many of us as evangelicals have the opposite problem. We love to speak of personal responsibility, justice, and freedom. That’s good. Do we also speak of and exhibit Jesus’ love to those who don’t deserve it, just as we don’t deserve it (Matthew 5:43–47)?

I don’t know what uniform Pryor will be wearing the next time I see him long-stride past some helpless defensive end, but T.P. has bigger fish to fry than football. I sincerely hope he turns to the God who is merciful enough to let anyone who trusts in Jesus as Savior be part of His family.

I hope that those of us who follow Jesus will show His mercy, too.

—Beau Stanley

Follow @beaustanley

Being content with imperfect contentment

5/29 Joy in the Journey from Grace Polaris on Vimeo.

My wife really has a lot of insight. In Tuesday’s post I mentioned something she had shared about Coach Tressel’s situation. I believe it was the same day that she encouraged me based on a point Pastor Jonathan Wiley made in last Sunday’s sermon (video above).

As I bemoaned the fact that I was not as content as I would like, Stacey reminded me that Jonathan had said in his sermon (see particularly 14:45–15:25 in the video above) that contentment must be learned. He said that contentment is “not natural” and suggested that we can say, “Amen” to that. I add my “Amen” to the chorus.

Jonathan was expounding Paul’s words in: “Not that I am speaking of being in need, for I have learned in whatever situation I am to be content . . . I have learned the secret of being filled and going hungry” (ESV; emphasis mine).

We need to be content with the “contentment-learning process.” Ironically, we can become discontent not just with the God-ordained trials of life, but also with the pace at which our maturity in contentment moves forward. This just makes things worse.

It’s helpful to remember that God is at work within all Christians, taking us through the necessary highs and lows so we can “get” contentment. He is faithful and much more patient than we are.

Rome wasn’t built in a day, as they say, and neither is a mature, contented Christian. Let’s not let our imperfect contentment cause us to be discontent. We are where we are; let’s press on.

— Beau Stanley

Follow @beaustanley

Tsunamis, Tuscaloosa and theology

As we celebrated Memorial Day, we remembered not only those in the armed forces who have sacrificed their lives in the name of freedom, but also those who have lost their lives as a result of disasters and tragedies. The recent tsunami in Japan, the tornadoes of Tuscaloosa and Joplin, and certainly 9/11 come to mind. As we reflect, we may be tempted to ask the question, “Where is God?” I know I have.

Out of these events, we read and hear stories of great heroism, of how a life was spared as the result of a split-second decision. We see neighbors, families, churches and communities rally together to support one another. We see prayer groups form all over. We see people contribute financially and volunteer to help those to whom they have no direct ties.

We see our presidents show up and offer prayers and encouragement, often referring to Scripture, as President Obama so eloquently did on Sunday.

The media will hail these things as a reflection of the human spirit. I submit that if we’re willing to look closely enough, we will see that God is present (Joshua 1:9). In addition, we will see that He provides (Philippians 4:19), and that He protects (Psalm 46:1), just as He has promised.

— Brian Elder

Follow @be7821

Should a Christian go to church?

Welcome to our Friday “Ask Beau” post. The purpose of this weekly feature is to provide you, our readers, with biblical responses to questions you have about practical issues that you face. 

We invite you to submit questions for future “Ask Beau” posts by contacting us at beau.stanley@gracebrethren.org or viewfromthepugh@yahoo.com or by leaving a comment.

Today’s question: “Should a Christian go to church?”

This is an interesting question. The answer: “Yes,” if by “going to church” you mean regularly meeting with and relating to other believers in a local body.

Western Christians in particular emphasize the individual aspects of a person’s relationship with God, and this is fine. We definitely need to relate rightly to God as individuals. However, some go further and say that don’t need to be in regular fellowship with other Christians in some sort of organized body.

It has never been easier to be a “solo Christian.” Men who want to listen to a sermon at home can access preachers who are much better than me via the Internet. Technology puts all sorts of commentaries and biblical resources within a person’s reach. You could live some semblance of an informed Christian life from a cave (assuming you could get voice and data reception there).

Still, the Bible is full of instructions for people to relate properly to other believers. There are a ton of “one another” commands in the New Testament. Christians are to “be devoted to one another” (Romans 12:10), “agree with one another” (1 Corinthians 1:10), “greet one another” (various passages), “serve one another” (Galatians 5:13), “speak to one another with psalms, hymns and spiritual songs” (Ephesians 5:19), and more (NIV).

There’s simply no way that a man can obey the spirit of these and other passages without being in a consistent relationship with other believers, including meeting with them regularly (Hebrews 10:25).

Beyond this, the Bible expects Christians to be under the authority of a local body. The author of Hebrews told Christians to obey those that have oversight of them (Hebrews 13:17). Paul instructed Titus to appoint elders in the churches of Crete (Titus 1:5), and he gave detailed information about the qualifications for elders (1 Timothy 3:1–7; Titus 1:6–9). Peter appealed to his fellow elders to be good shepherds (1 Peter 5:1–2). All of these passages show that Christians are to lead and/or be led by other Christians.

The Lone Ranger mentality may be appealing in our culture, but it has no place among those of us who believe the Bible is God’s Word. We need other believers, and what’s more, other believers need us.

We’d love to hear your thoughts on this subject. Please feel free to leave a comment.

— Beau Stanley

(EDITOR’S NOTE—Photo: Brand X Pictures/Brand X Pictures/Thinkstock)